The Zany Way to Apply for Jobs You Don’t Want!
To Whom It May (Verb),
I am writing to apply for the position of (job title). This job is a great opportunity to utilize my (fake skill) as a/an (job title you don’t want) who excels in a team environment and has the (self reflexive adjective) to work with minimal supervision to very high levels of (noun).
I graduated from (name of overpriced institution of higher learning) in May of 2008 and worked from September 2008 until May 2009 at (proper noun). From May 2009 when my (bad experience) ended until the present I have worked for (proper noun) as a/an (demeaning job). My job as (name of something horrible) is primarily concerned with managing (plural noun) in our online (gerund). Since beginning this job in May of 2009 I have (plural noun) and also spent several weeks full time (way one might die).
Recently my position at (name of something horrible) expanded so that I assisted the (proper noun) with donor issues such as (bad experience) and refunds. Working in the fast paced and detail-oriented world of (noun), I had the opportunity to take a lot of initiative in how I handled (mean adjective) donor issues, and stalled (bad word-plural).
Thank you very much for your (noun). I look forward to (gerund) from you.
Sincerely,
(proper noun)
